a list of setbacks and rebounds

I’m doing pretty good but I’ve suffered, laughed, mourned, and tried to stay present through it all

Here is a list of setbacks and rebounds to catch you up

setbacks
-laying down in the back of taxis because I just needed a break
-not being able to lift a water jug up to its dispenser (spiraling with a general loss of independence)
-lifting my bags off a conveyor belt and just tasting the essence of regret afterwards
-falling asleep at 8p because of the exhaustion from a day of pain
-not being able to make it to the end of the workday because I couldn’t think through the pain
-tried running 8 weeks in, back and legs said nope
-my bc prescription came late so I was a homicidal hormonal hurricane for a month
-watching my leg spasm during PT and having no control over my body
– just shy of 3 months in, being told no more “jumping” (like…going down stairs)
-3 months in, spraining my ankle, and not knowing just HOW bad it was because I couldn’t feel half my foot to begin with
-tried running again, ankle said no (this was this week)
-finding out I’ve lost a little motor function with the nerve damage too, not just sensory function (this was today)
-about two dozen canceled and declined invitations to be a social human being, usually involving sitting or just. dread of a pain too familiar

rebounds
-the first night I fell asleep without my leg radiating on fire
-swimming and PT
-stopped taking medication at the end of August
-actually making it through teaching two classes. mentally and physically (Lesson 5)
-the first time I slept on my side Thank God
-i sat through a movie–yes it was Joker–It Was Worth It
-being able to do flip turns while swimming
-my friends and I made a shirt with a picture of our friend and the order arrived. This was the hardest I laughed in 2019
-enjoying work. God, what a concept.
-having a class of funny students and enjoying it
-people I interview getting offered a job
-stabilizing a sprained ankle with freezer wrap and tube socks and having a good laugh
-my friend bought me ace wrap and I used a rolling luggage bag as my crutch. LOL.
-feeling the majority of the top of my foot again (3 weeks ago)
-a random facetime from a really good friend
-friends who don’t drop me even after I cancel 3 times in a row
-bending 90 degrees during PT and not have the feeling leave my leg and foot (2 weeks ago)
-being able to elliptical (this week)

that’s all folks

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